Published on December 9th, 2012 | by Yellow Magpie2
Funny Christmas Quotes: Good Festive Humour
Funny Christmas Quotes
Here is Yellow Magpie’s selection of choice Funny Christmas Quotes.
‘I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.‘ – Bernard Manning.
‘When we were children we were grateful to those who filled our stockings at Christmas time. Why are we not grateful to God for filling our stockings with legs?’ – Gilbert K. Chesterton.
‘That’s the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.‘ – Jerry Seinfeld.
‘[They’re] four stages of life: 1) You believe in Santa Claus. 2) You don’t believe in Santa Claus. 3) You are Santa Claus. 4) You look like Santa Claus’
‘Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.’ – Johnny Carson.
‘Let’s be naughty and save Santa the trip.’ – Gary Allan.
‘People really act weird at Christmas time! What other time of year do you sit in front of a dead tree in the living room and eat nuts and sweets out of your socks?’
‘Bloody Christmas, here again, let us raise a loving cup, peace on earth, goodwill to men, and make them do the washing up.‘ – Wendy Cope.
‘Santa Claus has the right idea – visit people only once a year.’ – Victor Borge’
‘The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.’ – George Carlin.
‘Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.‘ – Dave Barry.
‘What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.‘ – Phyllis Diller.
Read Brainy Quotes for more Funny Christmas Quotes.